Obsessiveness
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Do you avoid meeting friends or family because you know he would object?
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Does he force you to give him your passwords so that he can access your information and accounts?
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Do you erase conversations, contacts, or reactions you had on social media?
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Does he go through your phone without your permission?
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Does he demand that you delete pictures you uploaded to social media platforms?
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Does he comment that men in the street are looking at you - and that he is upset by that?
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Does he disapprove of your clothing? Does he create imaginary affairs you are having?
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Does he keep track of your daily routine? Does he use other people to keep tabs on you?
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Does he question your motives?
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Does he strenuously object to your contact or relationship with certain people (men or women)?
Two-Faced Relationship
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Do you, in public, present a positive picture of your relationship in order not to antagonize him?
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Does he demand that, in public, you be friendly and act like you are in a good mood, even when you are in distress?
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Does he present himself differently in public than when he is alone with you?
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Does he tell you or others stories (either true or false) that portray him as a good-hearted, pious man, or, perhaps, a man who is down on his luck?
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Does he at times seem gentle, a poor soul hungry for love and in need of someone to care for him, but at other times he is violent and dangerous?
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Does he apologize, buy you gifts/flowers, and promise never again to behave in such a hurtful manner?
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When the atmosphere is relaxed between you, is he on his best behavior (much better than any other every-day couple) but when the situation is not that good, he turns awful?
Gaslighting
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Do you find yourself doubting your own sanity? Doubting your memory? Questioning your overall abilities?
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Does he claim that you are always at fault, even in matters that don’t pertain to you?
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Does he complain that you are not acting properly towards him? Does he act like he is never satisfied with you?
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Has he hurt or damaged something or someone that you love (a child, pet, a favorite item)?
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Does he speak to you insultingly
Overreactor
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Are there reasons you are reluctant to share with others what your domestic partnership is like?
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Do you tense up prior to seeing him? Do you find yourself choosing very carefully what you say to him or how you say it?
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Are you afraid of his response if you were to suggest a separation?
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Do you see his moods change with no apparent reasons?
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Does he have a tendency to explode in anger from minor things?
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Has he threatened you with suicide, or that he will take revenge on those dear to you if you were to ever leave him?
Martyr
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Does he have a history of obsessions/addictions?
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Has he experienced a deep loss such as the death of a relative?
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Does he have access to weapons?
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Does he claim that an ex betrayed him, and in response, you try to rebuild his trust in the world in general and women in particular?