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Obsessiveness

Snoops on you and constantly checks your phone

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Two-Faced Relationship

Puts on a different face in public

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Gaslighting

You’re always to blame for everything

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Overreactor

Reacts in a threatening manner if you suggest breaking up

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Martyr

Both a victim and an aggressor

Obsessiveness

  • Do you avoid meeting friends or family because you know he would object?

  • Does he force you to give him your passwords so that he can access your information and accounts?

  • Do you erase conversations, contacts, or reactions you had on social media?

  • Does he go through your phone without your permission?

  • Does he demand that you delete pictures you uploaded to social media platforms?

  • Does he comment that men in the street are looking at you - and that he is upset by that?

  • Does he disapprove of your clothing? Does he create imaginary affairs you are having?

  • Does he keep track of your daily routine? Does he use other people to keep tabs on you?

  • Does he question your motives?

  • Does he strenuously object to your contact or relationship with certain people (men or women)?

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Two-Faced Relationship

  • Do you, in public, present a positive picture of your relationship in order not to antagonize him?

  • Does he demand that, in public, you be friendly and act like you are in a good mood, even when you are in distress?

  • Does he present himself differently in public than when he is alone with you?

  • Does he tell you or others stories (either true or false) that portray him as a good-hearted, pious man, or, perhaps, a man who is down on his luck?

  • Does he at times seem gentle, a poor soul hungry for love and in need of someone to care for him, but at other times he is violent and dangerous?

  • Does he apologize, buy you gifts/flowers, and promise never again to behave in such a hurtful manner?

  • When the atmosphere is relaxed between you, is he on his best behavior (much better than any other every-day couple) but when the situation is not that good, he turns awful?

Gaslighting

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  • Do you find yourself doubting your own sanity? Doubting your memory? Questioning your overall abilities?

  • Does he claim that you are always at fault, even in matters that don’t pertain to you?

  • Does he complain that you are not acting properly towards him? Does he act like he is never satisfied with you?

  • Has he hurt or damaged something or someone that you love (a child, pet, a favorite item)?

  • Does he speak to you insultingly

Overreactor

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  • Are there reasons you are reluctant to share with others what your domestic partnership is like?

  • Do you tense up prior to seeing him? Do you find yourself choosing very carefully what you say to him or how you say it? 

  • Are you afraid of his response if you were to suggest a separation?

  • Do you see his moods change with no apparent reasons?

  • Does he have a tendency to explode in anger from minor things?

  • Has he threatened you with suicide, or that he will take revenge on those dear to you if you were to ever leave him?

Martyr

  • Does he have a history of obsessions/addictions?

  • Has he experienced a deep loss such as the death of a relative? 

  • Does he have access to weapons?

  • Does he claim that an ex betrayed him, and in response, you try to rebuild his trust in the world in general and women in particular?

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Golden Rule: The decision to leave your partner may represent a life-threatening scenario! Only turn to professionals in the field of domestic abuse and violence for help. It is vital to ascertain that the individual or entity you are turning to is truly an experienced professional.

Recognize a warning sign?
Call 24/7 anonymously 118 Ministry of Welfare | *6724 No2Violence

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